Posts Tagged Humor

17 Reasons I Am an Eternal Slave to My Long Hair

You all know the hashtag #LongHairDontCare. Well, for me, the saying is so much more than a fun rhyme to say and tweet – it’s a life motto. There was a time in my life when my mane was just another thing to experiment with, as inconsequential as painting your toenails a different color every week. However, as I grew older, it became startlingly clear that my hair is not a plaything, but more like another limb – as consequential as trimming your arm for a “new look”!

I’ve generally had long hair throughout my whole life. There were a few periods here and there when I decided to switch it up, fleeting moments of curiosity that were immediately followed by deep regret. My senior year of high school – a very important year in one’s life – I cut it so short that my shoulders would get breezy. Believe me, that was the least of my agony. The worst was feeling like a human mushroom for at least four months of my life.

Then there was that time during my punk phase when I tried out the rock ‘n’ roll mullet. Hey, Scarlett Johansson made the same mistake once , so I’m in good company. And just like any momentous life lesson, a mullet taught me to never go down that road ever again.

But then, just two years ago, I did it again. I felt the urge to subject myself to that rotating chair and have some grown man with better eyebrows than me chop it off. This time, it was only a few inches, and afterward, my length was still technically considered medium-long, but I still felt that excruciating pang of regret, and that’s when it was solidified. I have to have long hair. And I mean a mermaid mane that goes way past my chest, Miley Cyrus’s look from her “Party in the U.S.A” days .

I don’t care if it’s 104 degrees and humid out. I don’t care that my strands regularly get caught on things – dress zippers, random cracks in the wall, underneath my purse straps. I don’t care that it takes an inordinate amount of time to dry. I don’t care that having the same hairstyle is undeniably boring. I am a slave to my long locks, and I will do whatever it takes to make my master happy.

On the upside, having long hair has its benefits. Here are 17 reasons why I’ll always live by #LongHairDontCare.

15 Struggles All Boyfriends of Beauty Girls Know, as Told by GIFs

If you’re a diehard beauty junkie, you know that it’s not easy to find the perfect significant other . Some guys will find your passion vain , vacuous, or even promiscuous – so you have to go through a pretty long trial period before you commit. Dudes who place a ban on red lipstick are kicked to the curb . So are those who insist that girls who wear natural makeup, like Kim Kardashian , are prettier. (I mean . . . what? Who has time to explain that?)

Once you discover a man who respects your obsession, you hold on tight. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t struggle with your relationship . . . with beauty, that is. Read on and get to know your honey (and yourself!) a little better, and prepare to laugh.